Filed under PTSD

Reading aloud

Tonight I have to read my letters out loud. I have read them over and over in my head. I’m trying to prepare myself for hearing the words I wrote. But I’m sure there is no way around it. I’m sure I will bawl. And maybe that’s a good thing. So why am I nervous … Continue reading

“There’s a way to be good again”

“There’s a way to be good again”

The last few weeks my mind has been spinning about the convergence of joy and pain, contentment and anguish, peace and terror. For so many of those hurt in Boston on April 15, the day represented the best and worst for them. The best because they had completed something wonderful, done what they set out … Continue reading

Dear Pelvis

Dear Pelvis

So I guess I’m officially having a conversation with my pelvis. Last night, instead of writing more from my pelvis to myself (see previous post), I responded. Dear Pelvis, Thank you for saying what you had to say. Heart, Gut, Brain and Intuition all agree with you. But right now — as the weather crashes … Continue reading

Homework assignment

At therapy last week I got a homework assignment: Write a letter to yourself, from your pelvis. Maybe this sounds crazy, she said, and you don’t have to agree. But what do you think of that? Here’s the kicker: I have to read it aloud at my next appointment. I have to put it on … Continue reading

Yoga = Therapy

Yoga = Therapy

Some days I know that I am getting as much out of my yoga practice as I am my twice monthly counseling/EMDR visits. Today solidified that in my mind forever. Yoga is therapy. More rain is coming. I was stiff and sore this morning but pumped up about today being “Yoga Day.” I told myself … Continue reading

Making connections

The weather improved in a big way on Thursday afternoon and continues to be lovely. My pelvis and I are enjoying the benefit of steady air pressure. I had a sort of epiphany today about the connection between my pelvis and the weather: I am blessed to be so directly connected to Mother Earth in … Continue reading

Apparently, I have C-PTSD

My counselor recently told me I have Complex/Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. At my most recent appointment, not quite a week ago, she told me this as a fact: “You have Chronic PTSD” and read me the official diagnostic criteria for this condition. Based on what she read and the analysis she shared with me, … Continue reading

In my dreams

In my dreams

Last night I had an awful dream. Until this point, I have not experienced the “reliving” dreams so common after a traumatic experience. I’m not a clinician so I’m not going to get technical here about what I have experienced since I sustained diastasis of the symphysis pubis in January 2012. (Maybe I’ll write about … Continue reading