Bring the heat

heating pad

The closer I get to surgery the harder it seems to be to push through the pain.

I have no idea what the psychology is behind that. It feels opposite of running a race. When I hit the 10-mile mark of my half-marathon in May 2011 it was as though I’d been given some kind of rocket booster. It was the kick I needed to make it to the finish line. Today, I feel like seeing the finish line has untied my shoes, poked a hole in my water bottle and tripped me.

I forgot my heating pad at home today. I told my boss because I was worried it would mean I would have to go home a bit early. Turns out she is Mary Poppins in disguise. She pulled a heating pad out of a file cabinet as though it was completely normal. It made my day!

I’ve been using heat on my back at bedtime for a few months now. It seems to help me sleep. For the last several days I’ve used it at work, too, alternating heat on my back and my pubic bone. It’s awkward, but it provides some relief. It makes me so curious about the blood flow, ligaments and everything going on in there. I almost wish I could watch a recording of the surgery, just so I could see everything. Is that crazy?

I’m going to try to pack a box or two now.

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One thought on “Bring the heat

  1. I am wondering if maybe you are pinching a nerve right now. You know you have been walking since day one and suddenly the pain is much worse. It’s just a thought though. The other thought is, your body has been running on adrenaline for how long now? Since birth? Now knowing what the issue is and getting closer to labor, perhaps your body is starting to relax. See before you were in the dark and you told yourself (after reading a lot of material about your condition) that you would heal in such and such amount of time so you prepared yourself mentally and physically. Now that you know it is not normal and you have to continue for another couple of weeks before you can even have the operation…then take an additional 12 weeks or so to heal?!…Think about that! Your body is saying ‘screw it!’. It’s done with adrenaline! It is tired…Rest, use the wheel chair and feel no guilty about it!!!!!! 9 more nights!!!!! 🙂 Then you heal!

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