Separated at Birth

In an effort to ensure my pelvis remains strong for the rest of my life, I’m taking a yoga class.

I’m a bit more than four months post pelvic reconstruction surgery and about three weeks shy of a year from the day I separated my symphysis pubis during the natural birth of my son. From the time I knew surgery would happen I told myself I would be “better” by my son’s first birthday. That this would be behind us and my husband, son and I would be a “normal” family.

By nearly every standard, I am physically better ahead of schedule. I can walk unaided. With the exception of major changes in the air pressure (weather systems), an incredibly physically exhausting day or a mishap that applies some amount of force directly to my pubic bone, I am virtually pain free. I can even run across the street if there’s a car coming. (Not that I make a habit of that, and I run when I can see a car, not just when they’re close.)

And I’m now doing something that I never did before my pelvic injury. I attended my second yoga class today. There was one pose, Wild Thing, that I couldn’t do the way it was described. I couldn’t keep my weight on one leg while the other was curled behind in the air. So I went down to my knee and it gave me more stability. I’ll work at it and maybe the next time it comes up I’ll be able to do it.

Today’s class made me feel open, almost free. My hips and legs got some great stretches and I left feeling completely alive. That feeling made me wish the class was daily. But in reality, I think the twice weekly class will be perfect for me.

• It’s the same number of times per week that I had physical therapy so I know I won’t over do it.
• I’m taking classes this semester and this class works with my schedule. It happens over lunch so all I have to do is eat at my desk those day.
• If I went every day I’d probably start wearing yoga pants to work. That would not be a good thing.

It feels wonderful to be doing something I’ve never done. This way, I can’t compare “well, I used to be able to do so and so much better.” No set up for feeling like I’ve failed or let myself down in anyway.

I’m looking forward to Thursday. And I’m glad that I’m now looking forward to the near future. For so long I forced myself to skip the near future and think of the distant one. The near future was full of fear and unknowns. Was surgery going to work? Was I going to be strong enough to __________ (you pick, I wondered about it ALL)? Would I forget what I used to be like? I’m starting to learn the answers to some of those questions and I’m starting to get comfortable with the answers.

I’ll be looking forward to my next Wild Thing.