What’s next?

A few random thoughts to share today:

— My guys were home sick today. They both have bad coughs and didn’t sleep well so they hung out at home in their pjs today and rested. I’m not coughing and my throat doesn’t hurt so I’ll just hope it stays that way. Hopefully they will both be ready to go tomorrow and I won’t catch it. We’ve got a big week ahead.

— Class starts in a few weeks and I’m getting excited. My class for the fall semester is Graduate Research. It’s required for my Master of Liberal Studies program and I hope it means I can start working toward my goal. I’ll take only one class unless (somehow) we close on the house before the last day to add a course. One class is free as a benefit from the university. More than that we pay for out of pocket. The current family austerity plan doesn’t include tuition.

— I’ve got so many reasons to feel grateful, excited and – increasingly – hopeful. Even with today’s extended rain I did pretty well. The front of my left side (psoas muscle) would tighten sporadically, but there was virtually no discomfort at my symphysis today. That was a big deal for me. And it makes me wonder if focusing on my stretching more for just four days could really have made that much difference.

— I had lots of reasons to reminisce today. Two good friends from college celebrated their anniversaries today. I love days like that. The chance to remember where you were at a point in time and reflect on what you’ve done since is nice. Comforting even. Even today. Even when I was forced to consider my diastasis symphysis pubis within the span of passed time. (A lot has happened in those seven years. DSP is only one of the major events included.) I think what it did was force me to put everything in perspective. It is true that I will never be a surrogate mom for my good friend and his husband, as I had hoped those years ago. But it’s also true that they hadn’t asked me and I haven’t let anyone down. In that same span of seven years, I’ve lost a parent and grandparents. I’ve also been able to forge my way through the “new normal” that comes with the loss of a parent. In that seven years I met my now husband. We conceived and I carried a child. My body did what it had to do to get him earthside. And we are forging our way through this journey of parenthood. Yes, it’s true that there isn’t much about my life that is the same as it was then. But my life is good and my health is improving. And I am finally in a place where I’m looking forward to what’s next.

— Lastly, a shout out to my dear sweet friend who sits for the Bar Exam tomorrow. I am in awe of her tenacity and inner strength. She has been an inspiration and steadfast supporter for me in the last 18 months and I am just so proud of her.


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