Guess what I can do

Guess what I did yesterday?

I used an elliptical machine for six minutes! Six. Whole. Minutes.

I started out slow and Amy adjusted the machine so all I had to think about was moving my legs. We talked through what it felt like, I adjusted my feet on the pedals so my left hip didn’t rotate quite as much and before I knew it I was just going.

Amy had to sort of tell me that I was really doing it, actually.

I was so focused on moving my legs that I didn’t realize I was really using the machine. She said something like, “look at you go” and it helped me realize I could stop telling my body to move and focus on what I was feeling.

It almost felt like running. My heart rate climbed passed 100 and I felt great.

Looking back now, in those early days after I sustained diastasis symphysis pubis during natural childbirth I’m certain I didn’t think I would ever run again. I wouldn’t let myself believe it at the time, but I’m learning I was storing that feeling for later. I may not pound the pavement as I did training for a half-marathon, but I can use an elliptical machine and it can feel good.

Today, my muscles feel good and I’m doing better about keeping my abs tight all the time.

Still, today has had some rough patches. I know it will get better, but I’m not there yet. These mindfulness exercises may help, but I’m usually crying before I realize this is the time to be doing that. I’ll get the hang of it.

Meantime, I will keep celebrating these awesome new achievements as they come.

I can use an elliptical machine!
I can take care of myself, my family and our house. Yep. I can do everything that needs done now. But we still share jobs as we always have.
I am ready to up the arm to knees side plank to 30 seconds

  • Then 45
  • Then 60
  • Then arm to toes for 20 seconds (Amy is very encouraging. She figures I’ll be doing arm to toes by mid-January and ready to hike when the weather lets us.)
  • Then 30, 45 and finally 60 seconds

And I can get out of bed and feel good about my body, the day ahead and the future because I don’t HURT the way I used to. Sure, sometimes I feel it. But it is not a constant, awful hurt anymore.
And that is a reason for joy, not tears.

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