Three days

It only took three days.

I had been feeling really good about my physical progress lately. For more than two weeks in a row I’ve been feeling good and strong, busy at work, having fun with my husband and son at home and staying on top of my homework.

But the last three days basically erased it. All of it.

Nasty weather pressure built up over days and it took its toll. I thought I was managing things alright, using the heating pad and Biofreeze*, resting as much as I could and trying to keep my attitude in check.

When the pain builds up like this, it is my husband who shoulders the brunt of what it does to me. He has to watch me struggle – and be the one to tell me when I’m losing it. It’s hard. I hate that I can’t keep it together as much as I feel like I should. I hate that it only took three days for the pain to build up enough to physically change me. And I hate that being so sore has kept me from workouts — and thereby probably set back my progress. (On Monday I did take a walk at lunchtime, but Tuesday and Wednesday I couldn’t make myself go to the gym. I gave in to the pain. I’m not happy about it.)

I wonder often what my son – 14 months old – knows and understands. I wonder even more about my husband and whether he worries about the future the way I do. And I hope that the weather system behind this terrible stretch will pass quickly and spring can come and stay.

*Biofreeze is a topical pain-reliever with menthol. I got a tube of the gel for my birthday. I’ve used it several times, when my pelvis is very stiff. The gel quickly makes the area feel cold — and causes blood to rush to the area. That makes it feel easier to move and takes the edge off enough for me to get around. On the bad weather days, it has been a lifesaver.

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