Ready in mind

I feel like I could run laps.

SERIOUSLY! I haven’t felt this good, physically, since probably the first week of 2012. I’m getting stronger. I didn’t take any pain medication today. This is amazing.

But I can’t use my legs for another 80 days or so.

My challenge now becomes getting comfortable with Blue Sunshine and the fact I can’t use my legs.

My guys went to Omaha for a family reunion and a chance for my husband to hang out his is Mom and Grandpa. I wish I could have joined them, but was glad to have quality time with my Mom, too.

We watched movies, talked and made a mess. She washed my hair and we got a lot of water on the floor. It was fun, and helped me feel awake and fully human. I giggled when the warm water trickled down my neck and we laughed about what she would have said if I had gotten that much water on the floor as a kid.

I got washed up while she changed the bed sheets. She changed my dressings. Courtesy of the twice daily bloodthinner shots, my wound-drainer hole was still oozing a little. We put a Band-Aid on in rather than the big piece of gauze. Hopefully that will help keep the skin close together. My mom, the retired nurse, said if it didn’t look better the next time we change it I’ll have to call and ask about a stitch. The staples look alright. She used alcohol to get out some crusted blood because she said those crusty bits could make the scar more noticable. My pubis is still pretty swollen. There is only one spot where it is discolored, but not because of infection or anything. It seems to be healing well.

My biggest concern right now is with weening. I want to be sure I don’t get a clogged duct that could cause infection. I had one when the Little Guy was trying to figure out breastfeeding again. I’ve pumped three times in 24 hours and have less than I used to have at the end of one work day away from the Little Guy. It will be alright.

I’m THRILLED to only be in minor discomfort today. I think the better I feel the more I realize how much I hurt before. Does that make sense? I just hope I can use my mental toughness to get through the next 11 weeks with Blue Sunshine.

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